DNF Review: Down The Wormhole by Ana Franco

Friday, May 15, 2015
Down The Wormhole by Ana Franco
Publisher: French Press Bookworks
Date: March 17th 2015
Genre: YA, Fantasy
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In a city there is a tiny lane that separates two orphanages - one for boys and one for girls. Inside live two very special groups of teenagers. These teenagers carry a secret and leave it tucked safely away in their mysterious lives.
Then one day, a girl named Kitty arrives. No last name, just Kitty.
Before Kitty has time to be astonished by the teenagers' real identitites, she is whisked into a magical realm that slowly unfolds her own. She must come to terms with her true place in the world while she can, because time is ticking and there are secrets in the wormhole.
Travel with Kitty and her new friends Down The Wormhole into a mysterious world of magic, mythology, and mayhem. 

*The author provided me a copy of this book in exchange of an honest opinion*

I've actually never DNF'd a book before, mostly because I wasn't brave enough or strong willed enough. I tried to finish this book, I really did, but I just couldn't keep going. I really hated not finishing this, because it started out with such promise, with a really cool idea of the ancient Nordic, Egyptian and Greco-Roman gods running around as teenagers.

My problems start with Kitty, our protagonist, and Thomas (a.k.a the god Amergin, god of magic), who is (in an almost painfully obvious way) the love interest. Here's a quote from the book, a dialogue between Thomas and Kitty.
"Andrew, will tell this girl that I'm dead already?"
"No, Andrew, tell this baby boy that this woman here is sick of his voice."
"No! If that's the case, tell her that I died because of her voice!"
"Oh, yeah? What a gentleman of you!"
"You haven't seen anything yet!"
Now if this was a kid's book, I'd find this argument acceptable. In fact, if I were about eight or nine, I'd think that these two were being quite witty or snarky to each other. But no. Kitty is around seventeen. SEVENTEEN. And Thomas is a thousand-year-old god in a nineteen-year-old's body! "I died because of your voice"? Seriously? That's the best he can come up with?! It's ridiculous! Their immature shouting-sessions were incredibly annoying. Most of the time, it was hard to believe Kitty was seventeen and not seven.

Most of what I read involved these childish arguments. And why? Because Kitty wanted to join Tom and his other pals (who are also gods) in their age-old crusade, and Tom felt too "protective" of her. Ugh! Let the girl make her own decisions! And you know what irritated me the most? Tom wanted to keep Kitty out of his "war", because he (apparently) wants her to be safe, but is still a perfect jerk towards her. Either he likes her, or not. He needs to make up his mind!

The plot was rickety. Yes, rickety. There was action, but it was written poorly. Most of the time, everything went too fast and left me thinking...huh? Set would turn up, they'd have an argument/small fight and suddenly someone disappears and everything's fine again. These escapes were too abrupt for me to keep up with. Any time where Set was not plotting revenge on Tom, I had to suffer through more of Tom's and Kitty's pathetic arguments.

And finally, the dialogue. I'm going to be honest here and say I internally winced at it. Dialogue in a book needs to flow and sound natural. The characters in this book sound practically robotic! Their dialogue feels stilted, forced and unnatural. I think that's what finally destroyed the book for me. I just couldn't put up with anymore of it. Oh, and Kitty complaining about her period. That was the last straw.
"You should let someone help you," Kitty said, softly, trying to calm him. Maybe his period was worse than hers.
Like, what?!

I actually don't know who I recommend this for. I certainly didn't like it. If you can get past the dialogue and the childishness of the characters, I think someone could find the makings of a good book in this. The idea the book is based on is something I've never heard before, and could have been quite amazing. Unfortunately, the book just didn't do it for me

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